How to handle negative peer pressure as a teen. (Part 1)

Being a teenager can be so daunting, tiring, and lonely.  A lot is going on at this age. There are changes emotionally, hormonally, physically, etc. And not to forget the academic pressure and sometimes not even knowing how to express your own emotions. It can be daunting. I remember how daunting it was to be around my fellow teens, feeling like an outcast and not belonging. One of the causes was that I felt pressured to do things or go to places I did not want to do or go to. And that experience on its own led me to be alert to the kind of people I keep in my life.

Well, we know there is positive peer pressure that contributes to our well-being. Sometimes, your friends push you to try a new hobby or study harder, great. But when they start pressuring you into skipping class, lying, drinking, gossiping, or doing things that make you uncomfortable, that is where you need to draw the line. And that is what I want us to address in this post.

This is to help you to handle negative peer pressures that come with being a teenager without feeling like the odd one out. And even if you feel like the odd one out, it is okay because you are saving yourself from all the trouble.

May also see (Fresh-start)

Know who you are

Out of all these trends in this lifetime, if you do not know what you stand for, you will follow every trend.

I usually emphasize this when I speak to teenagers, to be mindful of their identity. Do you know how hard it is to persuade someone who knows themselves? It is impossible to lure them into doing anything they do not want to do.
As a teenager, it was easy for people to know what I stood for because I publicly lived my life that way. They already knew there were some places I did not go to, clothes I did not wear, or crowds I did not associate myself with. It may seem like pride, but it was my way of protecting myself, and that helped me a lot. Out of all these trends in this lifetime, if you do not know what you stand for, you will follow every trend.
So, in short, ask yourself some questions about who you are. What do you believe in? What kind of person do you want to be? What are you not willing to do just to fit in? Once these are answered, it’s way easier to say no without feeling guilty because you know your standpoint. It is not a sin to say NO, which leads me to my next point.

Learn to say No and stand your ground.

You don’t need a whole speech to say NO. A simple NO is enough and be adamant about it.

I could never fathom how such a simple word can be so difficult for people to use. Have you found yourself in an environment where you know you should not be, but you are there because you cannot say NO and you want to look cool? Let me tell you that you have nothing to lose when you say NO. As a teenager, you are not obliged to agree to everything that your friends are doing. You are not held at gunpoint to take alcohol, have sex, go to taverns, smoke, or lie, to name a few. It starts with just a sip of alcohol to get you hooked on alcohol. It takes a bit of smoking to get you addicted to drugs. It takes a simple attraction or fling to get you to have sex. On the other hand, I say it takes a simple NO to save the direction of the entire trajectory of your life for the better. You don’t need a whole speech to say NO. A simple NO is enough and be adamant about it. That is why the Bible says, let your YES be a Yes, and your NO be a NO (Matthew 5:37). Say NO and move on.

Be mindful of the friends you keep.  

You don’t owe anyone your presence if they are making you uncomfortable. You are still young, and God will bring you healthy friendships as you grow. 

This one sounds so cliché and ‘obvious’, but I want to emphasize this. Be mindful of the type of friends you keep. In our Teen Sessions, we are so adamant about bad company and how to recognize one. Remember the verse, ‘Bad company corrupts good character’? That sums up this point about friendships. With time, I will make a post about teen friendships and how to navigate them, but I want you to be very careful in choosing your friends. If someone pressures you to do things that make you uncomfortable, are they even a real friend to you? I mean, you are not that glued to them. Are those people your God? Do they buy you food and pay your fees? Certainly not!
So why is it that as teenagers, all you do is feel like you are obliged to keep friendships that don’t serve you in any way? Let me tell you this for free, a solid friend would not make you feel bad for choosing what’s right for you. Surround yourself with people who respect your choices, not those who guilt-trip you into dumb decisions. Friends that encourage you to do better and grow in your walk with God on earth and your journey ahead. You don’t owe anyone your presence if they are making you uncomfortable. You are still young, and God will bring you healthy friendships as you grow.

Conclusion

Listen, you don’t have to follow the crowd to be cool. The people who stand their ground are the ones who earn respect in the long run. So, don’t let peer pressure control you and waste your time following the wrong crowds. I believe from now on, your NO will be as bold as ever. Set your values, and be mindful of the friends you keep.

What are the other negative peer pressures that you can experience, and how can you deal with them? And as young adults, what are our negative peer pressures, and how can we handle them?

From my heart to yours,
Cheers!!